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How Depression Almost Killed My Business
Owning a business is really hard. There are days you are going to wake up and everything is going to be going right. The world will look shiny and new and everything you dream of is right within your grasp. Then there are the days the self-doubt kicks and you feel overwhelmed by the to-do lists and striving for perfection.
This is my first blog post in almost a year and when I thought about what I wanted to write and talk about I went through all the typical branding post, those will come soon, but I felt it was important to be transparent with you and be honest and raw for a moment because I too am human and I haven’t wanted to admit that.
Starting My Business
To be honest, starting my business wasn’t something I planned on doing just yet but I will readily admit I’m so glad I did. I have had the opportunity to work with some amazing people over the last year and a half and I would never have been able to do that if I hadn’t just started.
In the beginning, I was up every single day at 4:30 in the morning ready to get to work. Ready to do whatever it took to grow this passion project I had started. Blog posts were written, social media was attended to, and I was networking like a crazy woman.
I was happy to jump on a call with anyone at any time to just chat about their business and give them a few tips to get them started. I didn’t mind that I wasn’t making any money because I was having so much fun just sharing what I love most with others.
I was truly happy.
The Beginning Of The End
I wish I could say that there is a clear moment or day when things started to take a turn but anyone who’s ever dealt with depression knows there’s not usually one thing that triggers it but instead a progression of events.
What I do know with certainty is that about 6 months into my business everything started to just collapse. My business, my family, and I started to fall apart. Getting up was not something I wanted to do but I did it anyway. Writing a blog post wasn’t a priority. It became all about the voice in my head that was telling me I wasn’t good enough.
That voice in my head now has a name. I call her Negative Nancy because forgive my language, she’s a negative bitch. She’s mean and hateful. She likes to make sure I know that I’m not good enough, and I listened to her long enough I started to believe what she was saying.
Negative Nancy is a result of an abusive marriage that ended more than 4 years ago but anyone who’s dealt with abuse knows that the wounds don’t heal overnight and they can be very damaging.
The Result Depression Had On Me
Living with depression for a year has done a lot of damage to my life and business.
The growth I saw at the beginning of my business has gone stagnant. I don’t get leads every day to my inbox. My social media presence is abysmal. I ended up losing more money than I made in the end.
When I finally started to snap out of my depression I almost gave up my business because the odds are definitely stacked against me at the point. But at the end of the day, I still love what I do. I still get excited when I help someone solve a problem within their business. And that’s why I decided to not give up.
I really don’t want this to be a sob story or be seen as a way to get sympathy from people. Yes, my life fell apart, but at the end of the day, I’m getting back on track. Slowly but surely I’m getting my life in order and putting one foot in front of the other. And if I can do this, if I can beat Negative Nancy, then I want to help anyone else who may be feeling the way I did.
Getting help from friends and even strangers have made a huge difference. I am not 100% by any means but I’m moving. I’m moving in the right direction with only a few setbacks. If you’re reading this and feel like giving up, I ask you to not do that. Don’t give up! Getting help or perspective can make a world of difference. There is hope, there is still sunshine in the world.
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